You’ve just been asked to serve as Maid/Matron of Honor for a close friend or family member. You may be feeling excited, nervous, annoyed, or any one of a number of other emotions. Take a moment to learn about what is expected of you and to consider if you can follow through.
Expectations for a Maid of Honor
These are generally accepted roles for the Maid of Honor. Keep in mind that each bride is different. Take some time to chat with the bride to find out what is important to her and how you can best support her.
- Help bride with wedding errands/decisions
- Pay for dress, shoes and accessories
- Host/Co-host the shower
- Plan a bachelorette (if applicable)
- Attend wedding related functions
- Make a toast at the reception (if applicable)
- Assist bride as she dresses for the ceremony
- Support bride throughout the day
- Rally the bridesmaids and help avoid any conflict
Accepting/Declining
Being asked to serve as Maid of Honor is a special thing, but it comes with a certain amount of responsibility. If you’re not sure you’ll be able to follow through, it’s best to think twice about accepting. The bride is counting on you, after all. Here are some things to consider before taking on the role:
- Finances. Make sure you’re clear about the bride’s expectations of you in terms of paying for a dress, accessories, etc. If it’s going to be an extreme hardship, or if you think you might feel resentful about the cost, politely decline. It will go a long way to preserving your relationship with the bride. On the other hand, she may offer to help out with certain things if she can.
- Time. Supporting a bride can take a lot of time and energy. If other commitments in your life will prevent you from giving her the attention she deserves, you may be a better candidate for a bridesmaid. Otherwise, let the bride know that you care about her and want her to have the type of Maid of Honor she deserves.
- Proximity. Tied closely to time and finances, your proximity to the bride may impact your ability to perform Maid of Honor duties. Presumably the bride has taken this into consideration, but it’s worth a conversation to let her know the level of support you’ll be able to provide. Don’t forget to factor plane tickets and hotel stays into your financial outlook.
- Emotional Considerations. The impending wedding of a close family member or friend can bring up a lot of emotions, especially for a Maid of Honor. If you have problems with her intended, are feeling extremely jealous, or are dealing with other mixed feelings about the wedding, think twice about playing a key role in the ceremony. It’s worse to ruin any of the special moments than to decline outright.
Serving as Maid of Honor can be a lot of fun, but it can also be a lot of work. Knowing what’s expected of you can help you plan accordingly and rally help when you’ll need it. It will also ensure that you assist the bride in having an absolutely perfect wedding experience. She’ll appreciate it forever!
Christy Matte - Christy Matte is a freelance writer, consultant and small business owner. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Anthropology with a minor ...
